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Does It Get Easier? It Did For Me

You can find groups for oilfield wives all over the internet.  There are entire websites devoted to the oilfield wives.  And there are so many on Facebook.  Pages for oilfield wives blogs, pages for oilfield clothing.  There are groups on Facebook for oilfield wives to “support” each other.  Groups that have regular meet and greets in their areas so that oilfield families can come together and get to know each other.  I am even an admin for a group on Facebook for San Antonio Oilfield Wives, and we get together about once a week (sometimes more) for lunch and such to just hang out.  We have so much in common because we are oilfield wives, and we all understand the things we go through because of it.

Anyway, the whole point of this post was this…

On a couple of the pages that I follow on Facebook, they repost a lot of what the wives post on their wall or send to them in a message so that they can get input and/or support from other wives.  A lot of the posts that I see being reposted are wives asking how we deal with our husbands being gone and if them leaving ever gets easier.  I see a lot of replies saying that you don’t get used to it and that it doesn’t ever get easier.  I know, from reading the posts, that a lot of the women asking these questions are new to this lifestyle (yes, being in the oilfield is a way of life) and they married into it, meaning that their husband (or boyfriend, or fiancé or whatever their relationship status is) was already in the oilfield when they got together.  I’m not sure about the status of the women who reply.  I have read a lot of replies that are basically the same thing.  They say that it doesn’t get easier, you don’t learn how to deal with it, you are super lonely, etc.  My take is completely different.

I’m not sure if it’s because my husband and I were together long before he started working in the oilfield (we were together for nearly four years before this), and so I came into it with some sort of idea of what I was getting into.  We talked about it for a while before he signed on at the bottom of the food chain and began working his way up.  It could be because I am just a different type of person, with a different way of looking at things, or what.  But for me, it has gotten easier.  I did find ways to deal with him being gone.  I am not as lonely as I once was.  I have a great group of friends here in San Antonio, and I have made friends in several of the places that the oilfield has taken us to.  I don’t cry for hours, or days, or at all now when he leaves for his hitch.  I do tear up a little and get a little down when we know he is leaving for longer than he usually does (for the past couple of years it’s only been two weeks at a time, though, and I can do that with my eyes closed and my hands tied behind my back).  I kiss and hug him bye, see him off, and go on about my life as usual.  I have lunch with friends nearly weekly (I have been missing lunch when he’s home, but he’s grown to like them and is now loving being able to join us for lunch, too).

I stay busy while he’s gone, as well.  I hang out with the girls.  I hang out with the kids.  We will go to the park.  We will walk the dog (although not as often as he would like).  We go to school functions.  I read.  I blog (though not regularly…not yet, anyway).  I sell Scentsy.  I drink coffee (and lots of it).  I talk to family (they all live about six hours away).  I am writing a novel.  I taught myself to crochet.  I am training for a 5K, that the kids are going to run with me.

I’m not really ranting.  I’m not even complaining at all about what they say.  I am just saying that for myself, it’s different.  It DID get easier.  It DID get better.  It DOES work for us.  We talk and text as often as he can (I keep my phone with me ALL the time when he isn’t home, just because you never know when he is going to have a chance to make a ten second phone call).  We don’t take his time home for granted, either.  We try to make the most out of it, both as a couple and as a family, even if we just sit at home and watch movies.

 
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Posted by on April 5, 2013 in Life, Oilfield

 

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Alone Again Tonight

I am alone again tonight.  The kids are in bed, the reptiles have been either put to sleep or woken up, depending on which one it is, and the dog is softly snoring on his bed by the window.  I am sitting here in the bed, where sleep eludes me, enjoying a wonderful cup of coffee (and I wonder why I can’t seem to fall asleep.  Ha!).  I’ve done this many nights before.  That’s the way nights often go when you’re an oilfield wife.  Which brings me to the entire point (at least as of right now before I get sidetracked and get completely off topic, which wouldn’t surprise me too much) of this post.

I am an Oilfield Wife.  I wear the title proudly.  I spend long nights just wishing for a text from my husband, knowing it might not come.  I spend long days taking care of the kids and the house hoping he will be home for dinner, knowing that he probably won’t.  I chose this lifestyle, or rather it chose me.  My husband and I had been together for a few years before he got involved in the oilfield almost ten years ago.  I didn’t marry into it like a lot of women I know.  I was asked my opinion, my thoughts, my feelings.  We discussed it at great length.  We both agreed that he could at least give it a shot and we could see if it worked for us.  So far, I have taken this way of life and made it my own.

Anyway, I was at the bank today taking care of a couple of things that needed to be done when the banker helping me asked me what Kevin did for a living.  I told her he worked in the oilfield.  She said, “Then I guess that means he’s gone quite a bit then, huh?”  I told her he was gone at least as much as he was home, if not more.  She asked me why and how I did it.  I told her that I do it because I have to.  I do it because we CHOSE this life.  I do it because I am strong enough to handle it.  I do it because I love my husband.

This is a hard life to live.  I keep my phone with me at all times when my husband is out on a job.  Yes, I even take it to the bathroom with me.  It could ring at any time, and be my wonderful husband.  He could have only half a minute to spare to call me (it’s happened several times before) and if I don’t answer it, I don’t know when I will get to hear his voice next.  I sleep with my phone right by my head when he’s gone, because he might have a chance to call at 2:30 in the morning and I don’t want to miss it.

I am an oilfield wife.  That means I know how to fix my truck if it breaks down (or I know how to call someone else that can).  I know how to take care of the yard work.  I know how to take out the trash.  I know how to cook and clean (although my husband would argue with you about that one).  I know how to pack a bag for him in about ten minutes flat, and not forget anything.  I know how to pay the bills.  I know how to attend family functions without him.  I know how to drive halfway across the country by myself (with the children, so I’m not really by myself, but I am the only adult).  I know how to handle a gun.  I know the difference in my dog barking at an animal and barking at something I really need to go check out.  I know how to defend my children, my house, and myself.

One thing that people don’t always understand is that if we go with them somewhere, let’s say to dinner, we might have to get up and leave before our food ever arrives.  If his phone rings, he must answer it.  He can’t just leave it in the truck or at the house.  He is ON CALL.  Even when he isn’t, he still is.

I have recently met a group of oilfield wives here in San Antonio, and I don’t know how I ever got along without them before.  They know what it’s like.  I don’t even have to say anything.  They just know.  They understand.  They don’t judge me when I stop in the middle of a conversation and walk off to answer my phone.  They don’t judge me when I start texting while we are talking.  They know.  I love our weekly lunch dates.  I look forward to them every week!  We all pretend like none of us are ever going to move away, but we all know that any of us could be moving anytime.  We also know that if we have plans, and one of our husbands happens to be home, that lucky wife just might not make it to wherever we were meeting.  If one of us disappears for a week, we know it’s because the husband is home.  Time with them is so precious.

So now that I am rambling, and jumping all over the place, and not really making any kind of points or sense anymore, I think it is time for me to try and get some sleep.

And yes, my phone is right beside me, waiting on that call or that text…

 
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Posted by on March 26, 2013 in Husband, Life, Oilfield

 

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Lunch With the Girls

I met up with some wonderful women, and fellow oilfield wives, for lunch today.  We went to Carino’s.  As soon as the last of our group showed up and ordered their drinks, the lights went out!  They lost all power.  The wind here is crazy today and has been causing electrical issues all day.

After a few minutes of no power, the natives were getting restless.  Finally, after the manager came over and personally told us what was going on and that he was sorry and would try and get everything taken care of as soon as possible, the lights came back on.  We ordered our food, and our silly little waitress was unsure how she was going to get us our soup and salads before the main course because their system was down.  You don’t know how to walk over there and make a salad and scoop some soup into a bowl and just add it onto the ticket later?  Really?

We finally got our food, and after much gabbing (what do you expect when you get a bunch of women together), we were all very full and ready to take a nap.  We paid our bills, said our goodbyes, and drove to our respective homes in this horrible wind, which, by the way, almost pushed me into a concrete barrier on the freeway.

Now I am sitting at home, with my wonderful husband, who goes back to work day after tomorrow, typing this up, and enjoying the last little bit of time that we have left together before his mistress takes him away again.

The Girls

 
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Posted by on February 25, 2013 in Life, Oilfield

 

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